Tom Laing

In reading about his parents and knowing him as father you will have
discovered cause and effects. Being the eldest at an early age would
have given cause for a highly developed sense of responsibility and a
feeling of "good child" when going without and sharing. Having parents
who felt no doubt, inevitably, superior to the people around, with their
"appauling" accents and lack of culture, he learned to be critical.
Being a late maturer, short at school, would bring about intellectual
rather than sporting achievement (although 'physical education'
important) and defensive need to be superior. This is how I see it. It
also made for non-conformity being OK.

Mother encouraged musical achievement and he was playing the cello in the
Camberwell Symphony Orchestra when quite young. He and Frank were very
different. They shared a big shed in the back yard. Tom was untidy.
Unconscious with appearance and given to verbal activity at the Y.M.C.A.
He taught me to play chess and to listen to and enjoy classical music.
Frank was tidy, his things were in order. He had an evening suit and
went dancing. He smelt nice. He taught me to do the Charleston and to
play cards and to like jazz and some popular songs. He did not like the
YMCA types, but quietly worked on projects with Toc H. Like voluntary
work in the grounds at Austin Hospital. He liked women and had women as
friends..

Tom was generous towards me, his little sister, It was he who bought me
comics (when in hospital), a watch, a scooter, and he who got tickets for
us all to see "Charlie Chaplin in the Gold Rush".

When I was about 10 he went to America. He sent me a letter written on
paper bark from Camp Abnaki in Canada. I was enormously proud to have a
brother in America. He sent home his voice on a record which played, as
it was on a borrowed gramophone, at the wrong speed "Hello folks at home"
in a very high voice. His letters no doubt enlarged my horizons
considerably. When he came home, too soon, to help Mother with her Frank
problems, he found that I had left school because fees had been
introduced and he sent me back. He educated me with books like "Why we
behave like human beings" Dorsey and Helen Somcone on "Adolescence".
Before I married he told me sufficient about sexual behaviour for me to
never be hung up or disturbed by my sexuality. He had hoped that an
American/French girlfriend would come to Australia, but she never did. I
suppose the prospect of a very uncertain future was too daunting.

After his marriage I had no further close contact with Tom. He would
write to us, his sisters, long letters about his activities, but never
about himself. When I visited SA he would be kind and take me on a
tourist's tour but we were never close. I think he was very loyal to
Shirley and never discussed his private life. The concerned, fearless
self giving nature was there from early times and in my hazardous opinion
the anger that was probably there in box Tom and Father was handled in a
way which, perhaps, is no longer considered the best way. I don't know
because my anger is too deep to be known as well.

Marjory Newton (Mason nee Laing) his youngest sister

Did adult education courses in Newcastle
National fitness
University of the third Age still has group coming to her house.
Went to Wild Women's Weekend
Went to Canberra with Rene Schulz
After mother died, even Keith doesn't remember where Alan (Bill) went.
15/05/88 Singapore - She felt Bill's presence very strongly in Singapore.
Mt Faber - saw the illustrations of the signing of Singapore to the
Japanese. Questioned is it real - pressure on right shoulder increased.
From Mt Faber could see the harbour.
About a week after Pop died he came to Shirley at Nuriootpa at the foot
of her bed. He came at no other time.
In Ireland on the West Coast, the first night passed Galway Bay in the
guest house having dinner, was Irish music being played, looking out the
window, starck rocky landscape - overwhelmed with the feeling that -with
tears rolling down her face -"I've been here before" Felt that this is
where I belong. 21/06/88 en route to Cashel passed through the area known
as Connemarra(?) - across the hills, water lake and island. Mick said
this is what your house has given you. Very ancient stone circles in the
hills - many unrecorded. Made a huge impression on her.
Travelling south from Dublin on West Coast went through a place called
Ferns.